WBA Newsroom Student StorytellersThanks to a push for paperless receipts by the Associated Students of Madison, UW-Madison dining halls across campus are now only printing receipts upon request. This is saving both money and the environment. The Badger Report’s Michelle Aguilar has the story.
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This is pretty good work. You’ve let the players pretty much tell the story (cashier, DoIT person, student) and woven the narration around it. Good editing; good structure to the story. Two things concern me about this: first, the ending of the piece – a long shot of Gordon Commons? Was this intended to be like a broad “A-B-A” (intro/story/ending) theme – an opening shot of Gordon Commons, and then a closing shot of the same thing? Because I think for most commercial TV purposes, you could have ended the piece with Michelle’s last sentence (when she says “for a more sustainable future”.) Even for student TV purposes, you could have had Michelle do a standard “lockout” at the end…like “reporting from Gordon Commons on the UW-Madison campus, I’m Michelle Aguilar”. Also, even though it’s an acronym known by probably 90% of college kids, on first reference you should probably say “Associated Students of Madison”, and then on further references just say ASM. Michelle, you have a nice flair for doing the stand-ups that link the piece; nice presence and authority. Be careful on your sentence endings, though, for the dreaded “vocal fry” where your voice drops down into a range where you’re not projecting.